Trite But True

I have a bit of a moniker, a signature catchphrase that I use when friends ask how I handle difficult situations. "I have a choice, chicken s**t or chicken salad, and chicken salad just tastes better".

Most of the time this approach works for me. I truly believe that while 50% of life is what is thrown at you, the good, bad, and ugly; at least 50%, if not more, is based upon your response.

No one that I know with a positive outlook has ever suffered from it. No one I know who can smell the roses in spite of the rain has ever missed out on a critical piece of their life.

I have a good friend with a unique ability to channel this positivism. Even in times of challenge (like the week her 6 year old started wetting her pants again and whining uncontrollably), she is easily able to remind herself of how lucky she is that her child can whine and effectively communicate with her.

Because, you see, once you enter the world of raising a child who has had some special needs, you are more keenly aware of each success, each daily pleasure, as well as the concern and pain you may feel for your child.

We special-needs mommies don't despair when our child can't kick a soccer ball properly. We are just grateful if he/she is running in the same general direction on the field! We don't continually complain over typical behavioral issues, because we truly understand how mild they are in a way that parents of typical children simply cannot.

What I am amazed at is the stoic approach I see in parents of children who are severely impaired. It seems that they too have bottled this "chicken salad" approach to the extreme in their own circumstances, adding their own layer of "don't pity me" armor - in spite of any private pain.

Given all of this, I am sure that you can understand why I at times lack the ability to fully comprehend parents of typical, delightful, appropriate children who can't understand and embrace the beauty of this amazing gift that they have been given.

There is one woman in my community that I will generously label the "frowner". A Jap-Wanna-Be without the means or the style, every day is an "exhausting" challenge with her beautiful typical children and her handsome doting husband. She even approached me at a recent school event to vent about how she is looking for more ways to "get rid" of her 7 year old during the upcoming school holiday. The constant wails of her 4 year old, strapped mercilessly in a confining stroller (lest she have to keep an eye on her child) did nothing to sway her attention from the more important topic at hand, complaining to me about her difficult life. Clearly she has chosen chicken s**t in spite of the obvious blessings that God has given her. Keep in mind that this is an aquaintance, not a friend, and that this is what she chooses to project to the world around her.

Interestingly, I do not resent this woman. Rather, I pity her. Anyone who cannot take even a grain of pleasure in watching their beautiful, accomplished child grow and flourish must be a terribly depressed and unhappy person.

Which, again, reminds me of my own blessings.



Now the only question that remains is, what is it going to be for you? Chicken s**t or chicken salad? Think about it.