Starting the School Year with Special Needs

It is that time of the year again.

Everywhere I go, I exchange understanding smiles with other moms as we work our way through our August to-do lists, which includes everything from school supply shopping to staking our collective claim on discounted athletic gear.

If you happen to have a child with special needs who attends public school, this time of year also brings these errands, but along with that carries a mix of hopeful anticipation and trepidation about the coming school year.

What I have learned is that two parts preparation and one part collaboration really combine well to reduce some of the anxiety that a new school year brings. This approach also sets my child up for the greatest possible success. For the benefit of those who may follow down this path, I will share my tips with you.

1. Learn the Law:
If you research the NJ PRISE laws, you will come to understand what you are and are not entitled to under laws for public education. This document includes everything from eligibility for services and support, to the criteria for placement in the Least Restrictive Environment. You need to understand what the school is required to do, so that you can revisit, and perhaps modify, your expectations. Speaking of expectations...


2. Determine Realistic Expectations:
This is one short sentence but it is loaded with a hefty directive - and it is the hardest part for any parent. For example, Least Restrictive Environment laws may prompt a parent to expect that their autistic child in a self-contained classroom be placed in a general education class without a shadow, because they do not want their child stigmatized. A more realistic expectation might be to watch their child progress under current placement, discuss options for the coming year, and ultimately discuss options for placement. And an appropriate and successful placement in this case might involve a shared aide or shadow during general education subjects to make the day productive for both their child and the entire class.


3. Partner with your child's teacher:
I cannot say enough about how important this is. It is not only our job to advocate for our children but also to support the teacher and learning environment that supports them. For me this is a positive approach that begins at the start of the school year, but it becomes more critical in the spring when placement decisions for the fall are being made. Here are some actions you can take to partner effectively with your teacher:

• Seek out regular feedback regarding your child's progress. Be careful to do this without deluging your teacher with requests. I emailed my daughter's teacher once every two weeks to request updates regarding skills and behaviors that we were working on at school and home. I requested feedback for ways that I might support her classroom efforts at home. I always sought out her opinion regarding how her progress might impact the next upcoming challenge. At the close of any email, I always thanked her profusely for her time and expertise. Remember, these hardworking teachers do not get paid any extra money for answering our emails at 10 pm! A little thank you goes a long way.

• Be Sensitive About Sensitive Topics: I occasionally called the teacher when the topic was sensitive. If you have to call the teacher regarding a sensitive issue, it is also important to maintain appropriate boundaries and avoid calling their home or cell directly. For example, I had some difficulty partnering with my Case Manager and needed some advice on how to communicate with her. This would definitely qualify as sensitive, as an email would have been inappropriate. I called the school and requested a call back to discuss the issue. This tip is always helpful as teachers are required to work in a much larger bureaucracy under the school board and can be very hesitant to put in writing what they might directly and comfortably communicate about in person.

• Periodically review continuing challenges and request recommendations for the right support and setup for the coming year.

• Choose the "hill you want to die on". This is a grammatically incorrect phrase said to originate from historical battles on foot. And it's a great analogy, as well. I went through this when a scheduling conflict made adaptive gym impossible unless another therapy was shortchanged. You can't always get what you want - but you must determine what is most important so that you can get what you need for your child (thank you, Rolling Stones).

This overall partnering approach created a solid relationship. When it came time for my daughter's annual Individual Education Plan review, there were no big surprises. In addition, when I requested additional modifications to the IEP, my daughter's teacher was a great co-advocate and helped to push those changes through. Since we had partnered so well from the beginning, the IEP and placement were like the end of a long and collaborative conversation between us.

4. Encourage a Roundtable:

You always have the right to request a meeting, and when it comes to placement of a classified child for the coming school year, a roundtable meeting is quite common, usually scheduled by your teacher or case manager. If discussion of a placement meeting has not taken place by April, then send a meeting request to your teacher and case manager to initiate the process. Whether or not an IEP is due for review, this meeting will and should be scheduled to discuss, agree, and iron out any kinks regarding placement for the next school year. You can brainstorm regarding potential teachers, and request that your current teacher review your child's year and progress with a new teacher so that things can start off comfortably in the fall.

5. Meet the New Teacher:

Do this with your Child BEFORE the new school year: Many parents I know met their child's new teacher at the end May, or in early June of the current school year. This is especially helpful when your child is moving into a less restrictive classroom or a different school that following September.

• If you cannot meet the new teacher before the summer, set up a time to say "hello" for the week before class begins. Most teachers do not mind a quick meet and greet when they are setting up their classrooms, and they usually understand the benefit of this meeting. Encourage your child to write a letter or draw a picture to give to the new teacher. This is a kind gesture and will also give your new teacher a hint about your child's current skill level.
• During this visit, be sure to request a printout or email of the daily/weekly schedule to review later with your child.
• Please remember, this is not a dog and pony show, so try to avoid pressuring a new teacher for too much information or assurances at this time. Ideally, your prior teacher will have prepped this new teacher prior to your meeting, and you are giving your child an opportunity to know where and to whom they will be going when they get off the bus in September.

6. Reacquaint your child with School:

Review end-of-year skills, but limit the time spent, make it fun, and give lots of praise. Visit the school over the summer to play on the playground. Do a drive-by, and point out the cross streets and school buildings. A few days before school starts, review and discuss the new weekly schedule with your child. Attend any open house or event that the school offers to orient your child to a new school or classroom. All children thrive on routine, and these reminders will provide a sense of security to your child.

7. Check in with your child's case manager:

Contact your case manager for a quick hello and review of the coming year's set-up to ensure that everything is in place for that first day of school. This could be a simple conference call to review some of the accomodations on your child's IEP, or your Case Manager may prefer to involve the teacher or any aide or shadow that may assist your child in the classroom. This conversation will provide you with some reassurance and peace of mind, while ensuring that all requirements are covered and taken care of. I usually check in briefly just before summer break and just prior to the start of the school year.

8. Take a Deep Breath:

Avoid transferring any remaining anxieties to your child. Visit the park and garden together in your yard. Try to relax and enjoy this hectic end to your idyllic summer, before that first bell rings!